The Sang O Thi Cullercoats Toorist Offis

Northumbria is wor habitation,
An it’s heor that wuh aall luv ti dwell,
An wuh’re aall varry prood a wor nation,
Exactly thi syem as yorsel.

But yor welcome ti mek wuh a visit,
An ti sample wor beor an wor scran,
An ti marvel at wor bonny vistas –
But divvent cum heor fer a tan.

Thi wund blaas aall day, then it mizzles,
Then thi cloods hide thi sun fer a while,
Then thi rain lashes doon, then it drizzles,
Theor’s nowt yuh can dee, ceptin smile.

Sum peepul cums heor fer thi blethor,
An sum fer wor skies an wor views,
But nyen a them cums fer thi wethor –
The gan soothwaards agyen in lang kyews.

So, haway aall yous canny Bornicians,
It’s nee bother the’ve aall gon away,
Cos theor’s mair pickins noo fer us’ns,
Ti giv wuh a grand holiday,

Forgit aboot aall a yon resorts,
Or a cruise on thi owld choppy sea,
Wuh knaas ov a beach that’s fer aall sorts,
It’s Cullercoats yous need ti be.

Theor’s nee finer plyec in wor nation,
Fer sea air, an swimmin, an fun,
An thi chips is thi best fer thi tastin,
An th’ice cream is second ti non.

But divvent jist tek me word for it,
Gan alang fer ti see fer yorsels,
Neewheor roond heor can top it,
An Aah knaas, cos Aah’ve been theor mesel.

So divvent feel bad aboot gannin
Ti Cullercoats doon bi thi sea,
Yuh’ll soon forgit then aboot stannin
In kyews fer yor scran an yor tea.

But divvent tell aall a yon soothrons,
Hoo smashin it is way up heor,
Let’s keep whaat wuh’ve got heor fer northrons,
Tiv enjoy bi worsels, so theor!

Writ bi A Nony Mouse, August 1953

© Peter Arnold



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